…And Breathe | Atzaró, Carretera Sant Joan, km 15, 07800, Santa Eularia des Riu, Ibiza, Spain

Hello Mr Blue Sky… Photograph: Atzaró

Gotta love a spa and boy were we in need of one. Bring on the Atzaró hotel in Ibiza – a stunning expanse of Balinese beauty in the middle of an orange farm on the white isle.

We’d just checked out of Casa Corazon (post to follow) on the last day of our mini-break and we’re delighted to find the directions to Atzaró were signposted clearly, a rarity on this island.

I can’t believe it’s not Buddha..

This century-old farmhouse just oozes tranquility and relaxation, we were in love from the moment we walked in but tried to put the fact we weren’t staying the night out of our minds (check out the rooms!)

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands… Photograph: Atzaró

Can’t beat a day bed! Photograph: Atzaró

Instead we passed the hotel reception and wandered on to the spa area, walking through the scented gardens past an array of day beds with voiles floating in the breeze. Mostly couples were chilling in white robes with trays of food on their laps, it felt like we were intruding on several private breakfast in bed moments.

The changing rooms aren’t the most private we’ve ever been in by the way, so keep your wits about you. Ade caught a flash of a naked lady hopping out the shower without even trying to look.

We were booked in for the Atzaró Full Day Experience (€120/£88pp). We started off by selecting one of five oils and balms for our treatment. Ade picked the ‘relax’ oil and I just had to go for a soothing muscle balm. Then it was time for our joint heavenly 55 minute full body massages. The last time we had a treatment in the same room we ended up giggling all the way through it due to an incident with Ade’s paper pants… Luckily this wasn’t the case this time.

A bell was rung near our heads to start the massage, I’ve heard you can have an entire massage just using a Tibetan singing bowl, this doesn’t sound like a massage to us. Probably very relaxing, but I think we’ll stick with hands thanks – strong firm hands.

Now I was well and truly stressed out from the lead up to going away, so every single touch was amazing. We laid in total silence with no jingly jangly music as we were pulled about (gently), wrapped in fabric and lastly, left with what we’re guessing were stones on our eyes before the bell rang out again signalling the end. Sometimes I find it impossible to relax during a treatment because I’m anticipating that last bit of contact, willing the massage to continue for ever.

Yogi tea – smarter than the average tea!

Dozy and delirious, we headed out of our beautiful high ceilinged treatment room to be greeted to a cup of Yogi tea with sweet quotes on the tags. Ade promptly fell asleep, why can’t I do that? So I woke him and lead him to one of the many day beds, there was no way in this world that I was missing out on one of those.

All you need is love… and a few paper lanterns!

Talking of bells, alarm bells should have rung when we noticed pink balloons being laid in the thin strip of pool between the beds plus lanterns being hung at the end of it. We were later informed (at 2.44pm) that we were to be turfed out as a wedding was taking place. Gutted. We hadn’t even stepped inside the hamman, pool or sauna, let alone had a kip. So a word to the wise, always check that there aren’t any events going on before booking the ‘all day’ spa experience.

Lunch is served. Photograph: Atzaró

Although lunch was lovely, it did dip into our time a tad too much. I know spa visits are meant to be leisurely but we didn’t have much time to play with. The set menu, included in the package is just €25/£18.50 each – a bargain! (drinks not included).

We sat outside at the La Veranda restaurant back in our day clothes, willing the service to be a bit on the speedier side, but no, it was let’s just say – relaxed! We would have eaten on our day bed had we known that was an option.

A starter to share…

Starters were great – a selection of marinated chicken salad with a nutty vinaigrette to share alongside a pepper hummus and fluffy warm pitta bread. The (non alcoholic) Piña Colada shots had that funny washing up liquid aftertaste, a flavour Ade couldn’t register so he had mine too.

No you don’t need to go to Specsavers, that glass is wonky!

The presentation in every dish we ate in Ibiza had been so pretty, at Atzaro even the aioli had a sprinkling of finely chopped edible flowers. It didn’t just look lovely, it was so tasty, silky and addictive. I could quite happily have just eaten that.

My main of farmhouse chicken wings with wholemeal cous cous with a tandoori sauce was fine, it could have done with a tad more cous cous though. I couldn’t pick up any tandoori flavours but the wings were tasty with a fab crunchy crust. Despite wings being renowned for their lack of meat, I couldn’t resist giving a few slithers to the obligiotory restaurant cat by my feet.

Ade’s Argentinian beef with grilled potatoes and chimichurri sauce had great flavour but was on the chewy side, it was cooked to his liking though as the puddle of red blood merging into the yellow oil proved.

Kneesy does it

Not quite breakfast in bed, more like dessert in day bed

We took our desserts back to our (day) bed which is when we realised we had just fifteen minutes left. We decided to see this as a positive (which isn’t like us). We’d make use of that time to head into Ibiza town for a mooch about before we headed to the airport instead. But first a quick laze on yet another day bed, this time by the hotel pool just as the rain started to fall.

As we passed the wedding guests on the way out, the sun started to creep out from behind the clouds, the second time that week this happened. Perhaps we should have got married in Ibiza instead of Puglia, the sun just seems to know when to shine here.

atzaro.com
Carretera Sant Joan, km 15,
07800 Santa Eularia des Riu, Ibiza, Spain

Telephone: +34 971 33 88 38
Email: agroturismo@atzaro.com
Spa enquiries: spa@atzaro.com

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We visited as guests of Atzaró, this does not affect our review in any way. We always write with complete honesty.